If we were raised with consistent, nurturing parents, we conclude that life is meaningful and that people are to be trusted. If we were raised with parents who were addictively or compulsively ill, we determine that life is threatening and chaotic--that we are not deserving of joy. These are the crucial decisions that impact our lives long after we have forgotten them.

Unfortunately, childhood judgments don't disappear. They remain as dynamic forces that contaminate our adulthood. When childhood needs are not taken care of because of abuse or abandonment, we spend our lives viewing the world through the distorted perception of a needy infant or an angry adolescent. The more we push these child parts away, the more control they have over us.

This collection of daily meditations is dedicated to those adults who are ready to heal their childhood wounds. It is through this courageous effort that we will move from a life of pain into recovery.

This year I will create positive memories.

Today is the dawn of a new year. It is the day when many people reflect on the past and how they will change in the coming year. For many, it is a day of hope and new beginnings. For me, it has often been a day of terror as I face all the days that stretch out before me. Will I fail? Will I fall back into old destructive patterns of behavior?

This day reminds me of the alcoholism I would rather forget. Memories of childhood disappointments, arguments and violence mar the festivities of this day.

This day I will look back only to rejoice in what I have accomplished in the year past. I will concentrate only on today. I will make the best decisions I can for this day alone, not trying to tackle my whole future. This year I will create positive memories to replace the old.